LOS ANGELES (AP), That is right, Michael Jackson is, indeed, not dead. It was all a hoax, but a smartly laid out one. Jackson, who appeared to suffer cardiac arrest, had it all planned out from the beginning.

We are told that it started when Michael met little Johnny Crabcakes in a local Los Angeles park. The two had instant bonding. They did everything together that day, they rested, they played 2-man-stationary-below-waist-only-tag, they played some basketball — things were great between the two.

Unfortunately, Johnny was diagnosed with cancer a few days later and was placed in Los Angeles Hospital.

We asked our local expert on celebrity news, history, statistics, archeology, and some other shit we’re not supposed to mention, Pruane2forever, for more information.

“[Johnny Crabcakes and Michael Jackson] really hit it off well. You could tell it was a man-boy love from the start. But do I think that Jackson was in the relationship just for pedophilicious sex? Of course not. These two had REAL chemistry.”

“It is in my views,” he added, “that Jackson faked the cardiac arrest to gain entrance to Los Angeles Hospital. It was all a plot to see Johnny.”

And Jackson’s wish came true, as he was placed in room 1019, rooming with who but little Johnny Crabcakes.

“It was great. Johnny wouldn’t want anything more than to waste his final white blood cells while spending time with his pal, Michael,” Taylor Crabcakes, Johnny’s mom, chimed in.

It appears that Michael’s creepy antics worked out today for him and his victim.

“Johnny had a smile from ear to ear when he saw Michael rolled into the room unconcious,” stated his doctor, Plethora Oweed M.D.

Here is another proof that Michael is not dead. Check this picture!!!!

Michael Jackson dead

Michael Jackson dead

This picture was taken today. When he came to the hospital he was alive!!!!.. Don’t believe CNN, AP or Reuters!.. This is the biggest scandal in the world. He came to the hospital alive!!.. They say that he was already dead.. WE DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!!

Join the movement today!

MICHAEL IS NOT DEAD!!! WE WANT TO KNOW THE FACTS!!

Today we were shocked with the news of Michael Jackson died. Do you really believe it? He was in real good condition. He was getting ready for his new concerts. He did not die!.. The news are fake!!! He just used a doubler. At 2003 The Las Vegas Review Journal reported that some are wondering if Michael Jackson used a body-double after the King of Pop returned to Vegas after turning himself in to Santa Barbara police earlier that month. Lane Lassiter, a longtime local Jackson impersonator, has a hunch that’s what Jackson’s handlers had in mind when they met with him recently. “[Jackson's representatives] came upstairs after the show and said they liked the picture I sent them,” said Lassiter.

Check this picture:

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This is Michael Jackson’s body-double!! This photo was taken at 2003. Can you distinguish this with real Michael Jackson??? No!!!

Also check this picture:

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Can you distinguish him with real Michael Jackson???? NO OFCOURSE!!!!

HE DID NOT DIE!!! HE IS ALIVE SOMEWHERE… LONG LIVE MICHAEL!… WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.. WE WON’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE DIED TILL POLICE ANNOUNCES THE DNA REPORTS! YOU ARE NOT DEAD! THIS IS ANOTHER THRILLER STORY.. DEATH IS NOT THE END!